I Beg Your Pardon

I'll start with some deep philosophy/fun fact - times are changing and so is beggary. Boys and girls, beggary is not what it used to be. Today, the variation in the styles of beggary would put to shame a taxonomist's research study(sorry for the use of the jargon, but it is in my veins, being a student of advanced zoology and biotechnology - "phew"). The broken-limbed children of yesteryear used by extortionists are being replaced by far more complicated, sophisticated and I must say, trendy methods. I, hereby present my thesis.

The first time my attention was captured by this raging phenomenon, was in our Chennai's own electric train. A person, desperation in his each step, agony in his each utterance, walked by me and continued on his pain-ridden march until the end of the row, where he promptly turned around and wallked off, head held high, into the next compartment, efficiency written all over him. Flabbergasted, would be an appropriate term to explain my state of mind at that time. But little did I know, that what I was to see further, would reduce the shock value of this incident to zilch.

As my observation skills grew, I discovered that the beggars outside our college's back entrance, at specific times, do not beg! Apparently, they have work timings and adequate breaks, which inclines me to think that they probably have a union to safeguard their interests. It was heart-warming to see them borrowing a page out of the keralite's book.

Equally, if not more enlightening, as my encounter with the hep kind! A total Loyola cool dude, minus the long, straightened, 'very manly' hair and the stunning good looks, he was. He walked the walk, found himself too cool to talk the talk and stretched his hand out as if he gave a **** if it was filled. With an attitude like that, I'm not quite sure he'll be able to raise his coolness quotient too soon with a branded t-shirt.

Moving on, I stood witness to some high drama inside a train. The voice modulation and facial expression on his face would undoubtedly surpass the emotional depth of a Shah-Rukh Khan crying scene. The strength in his dramatic ability led me to believe that his dialogues - which i was unable to discern the meaning of - a poet would've been astounded by the complexity of them - would also be a class in itself. The single flaw was that he sincerely believed that repeating the same dialogue a zillion times, reinforces its sincerity.

The more sophisticated types have resorted to the usage of cards in which their grief-stricken story is written. With such talent in writing stories like three young dumb girls whose mother died by falling into a well and father drunk himself to death, I trust they can make it big in bollywood.

Other beggars, beg in return for exhibition of their talent in music. This is in fact, appreciable - if they are genuinely good, that is - but I'm sorry I've no interest in your genre of music. However, if you happen to form a rock band, well then, consider my wallet, yours.

I could continue with the borrowed-baby-bearing-begging syndrome and such others but I'm guessing you're begging me to stop already. Hence my last word on the matter -

It's a profitable profession, but if you're not skilled enough for it, study the phenomenon, like me. The subject has scope, like every other subject on planet earth and beyond.